i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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