I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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