well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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