Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i think my cat just said my name.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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