yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
