That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
