I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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