You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
