my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
