direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
