Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
