shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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