How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
