you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
