Screwed.edu
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
