That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
