Ketchup is God's man juice
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
