fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
