don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
