I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
