told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
