The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
