Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
