you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
