Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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