Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
organizing the empties. That sober.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
