Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want to make out with him forever
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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