There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
