Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
