i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
