Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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