took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
