Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
