watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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