I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
