I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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