if i died would you start the facebook group?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
