I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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