absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
