doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
