I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
