You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
