For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
