At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
