did you get engaged???
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just had sex on a roof
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
