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• (303): View more from Colorado

  last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?

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• (347): View more from New York

  Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again

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