i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
