I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
