direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize