my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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