oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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