I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
