Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
