? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
