My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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