And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
