Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
