wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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