My room smells like vodka and shame
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
