oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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