All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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