Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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