More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
