i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
