This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
