I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
